Monster Oil - Slide Oil
We just heard you play. You sounded out of tune, and like you were working too hard. We recommend that during your next practice session, you get in touch with your first and third valve slides--those things that your instrument designer put into place to help you stay in the center of the horn, instead of lipping everything everywhere all the time like we just heard you do. And what better way to do it than with perfection incarnate---Monster Slide Oil. A few drops lasts you between cleanings, and it's smooth enough to fool you into believing that your slides aren't really made of metal...more like made of butter. Yeah, that's about right--two sticks of butter just rubbing against each other. It feels amazing, but not as amazing as playing in tune. You have some work to do. This will help!
This will definitely help! When we received a sample, I tried the Monster Slide Oil on the first valve slide of a Kanstul trumpet. Now I adore Kanstul instruments, but the slides can be a little tight, maybe..dare I say...gritty sometimes? So I put some of this stuff on a Kanstul first the valve slide and tried to move it, and it immediately shot off and landed on the carpet across the room. (The slide was unscathed; no trumpets were harmed in this test.) Now, I'm not saying you want your slides flying around the room, but apparently I didn't know my own strength. I'll simmer down next time. So if you have funky slide action, this stuff is your baby. Just sayin'...