Monster Oil - Slide Grease
The Worst Part of Playing Trumpet, a Short List: 1: The sheer amount of physical human attraction that it generates from all sexes. 2: Sullen looks from newly bedeafened woodwind players. 3: Tuning slide grease. Nobody likes it. It's annoying. We get it. But it's a necessary evil, so stop whining and start putting something on your horn that NASA has been using for years: Monster slide grease. Thick, long lasting, perfect seal. You won't lose the tub either, like you normally do---this one is too good looking.
This grease is thick. How thick? Remember that old movie Murder by Death by Neil Simon, and they're all driving in the fog to the mansion? Well, sort of like that. That thick.
I didn't appreciate its thickness until I was struggling with a Schmelzer trombone tuning slide that fit well, and well, it actually fit a little too well, and it would stick a little to the left and rock to the right and back and forth, and...no success with any grease. It wouldn't go in. Until I tried the Monster, and then it slipped in like a...well I can't exactly say, but remember that radioactive fuel insertion scene in The Big Bus? Sort of like that.